Friday, August 26, 2011

some kind of LOVE

i kind of felt like i was on a first date again. even though the number of "first dates" i've had probably wouldn't even fill one hand. but this date was important. i yearned to hold his hand but didn't know if it was appropriate or not. so i waited. and when he made the first move i couldn't have been more relieved.

because these days are numbered. and there was proof of that thought on every side of me as kids only a year older than my Dallin B kept good distance between them and their mama. the concert exalted to awesome as my little boy watched it from my lap. Taylor Swift stated what she thought to be the two most intense feelings- finding love and losing love. i couldn't agree more. and although i found myself in neither predicament, i felt more depth in my love at the very moment because i was appreciative. through him i had found love.

and as a test- as if that wasn't love enough- an impostor came along.......

forgive the crappy picture but i'll take what i can get. this little surprise made his way onto the stage and some force unknown to me threw me out of my chair and had me screaming like a 13-year old girl. screaming is kinda the word, but more correct would be something like "shrilling." and i wasn't alone. imagine the Staples Center filled to the max when justin bieber made his appearance....high decibels. Dallin, of course, hates JB....but his eyes were peeled and his giddy smile was present. but "i hate him and didn't even look at him". 

i live for these kind of moments. and to share them with the ones i love the most....well i guess that's why i live for them.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

2 seconds matter

And those 2 seconds have kept me up at night on more than one occasion. They have left me laying in bed, doing a play-by-play of the day's event, willing a change to the ending. It has yet to happen and my conscience has yet to cut me a break. They have spurred me to write hate texts, but left me unable to hit the send button. 2 seconds can drive you crazy. It all happened the first weekend of last October-although that's not where it all started. It started 16 weeks previous to that as a group of friends discussed the Manhattan Beach 10k over dinner at Stanley's. The conversation turned from casual and inclusive when Laura singled me out and declared her personal goal......"Well I just want to beat Gay." An uninvited challenge thrown directly at me, no way to divert it. The directiveness caught me off guard but inside I allowed myself a good chuckle, thinking if she didn't beat me she would be feeling pretty stupid. That thought was never uttered aloud. I'd let it be my own opinion.

Well game day arrived. I had put in my time and hard work to prepare- running the hills, putting in a few runs each week. To be honest, I was surprised at how strong I was feeling. Maybe the joke would be on me.....maybe, just maybe, I would cross the finish line before Laura. My aversion to competition outside of myself led me to get lost in the crowd of 3000, camouflaging Laura in with the rest of my competitors. This would be the only way to let me run easy the next 6.2. And that is just what I did after the blow horn sounded. She was lost from my sight and mind, allowing me a solid- although very challenging- run. But it would have been too kind of her to allow me that serenity the whole 6.2. Instead she gave me 6.1. And then out of no where, she came into my peripheral. I was shocked. Where in the world did she come from and how come I'm seeing her pass at a full sprint? But I felt a surge of hope. I summoned my sprinting muscles and called them to duty. And they did their job. For about 20 seconds. And then the real me shined through- I saw there was no way to cross the line before her and chalked it up as good effort and finished the last little bit at a comfortable pace. I mean, 16 weeks ago my mind didn't even let me entertain the possibility of finishing in the same league as her with my 23-week-pregnant self. I forced comfort, insisting that I should just be proud that I finished, and even more so that I gave her the competition that I thought would be impossible. You win some, you lose some, right? And all these condolences were working....until later that day when the "real time" results were posted. That's right.....real time vs the standard race clock time. How could the staggered start detail flee my mind in my time of need? Where was that reminder? My official time started after Laura's, allowing me a few grace seconds. And what did I do with the grace time? Loafed them away. Causing this, the final standing- Laura Anderson 52:44, Gabrielle Hansen 52:46. It doesn't matter that I never thought this time possible 16 weeks ago. Or that I was 23 weeks pregnant. Or that I'm not competitive. Or that Laura didn't completely rub the win in my face. Or that Laura deserved the W. All that matters is that it's a lost 2 seconds I surrendered to mediocrity.

I'm sure I must have returned the challenge to Laura for Manhattan Beach 10k 2011, but I think she was a little nervous of this and went ahead and made sure she'd be 38 weeks pregnant for the event. Bad news, Laura.....a forfeit still equals a win for's 1-1. Can't wait for the rubber match..........

To be Con't.................................

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Trying to figure out how to use Blogpress. Maybe this will help me be a better blogger? Vamos a ver. For the next 13 days I'm going to be swimming everyday and roasting all varieties of s'mores and need to be documenting these important happenings. Maybe tomorrow I'll learn how to use my camera adaptor....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, August 1, 2011

Love Birds love birds

So often times I ask Yosh if I drive him crazy. Because let's be honest, I drive myself crazy. And then I wonder what it would be like to live with me....if I wasn't me. You get what I'm saying right?

Top on list of annoyances (please note- these are simply annoyances, not the real "drive-me-crazy" things...):

1) I leave my chewed gum in random places, like everywhere BUT the trash cans. (Yes, I even found ABC gum in the shower the other day....gross.....)
2) I leave bobby pins everywhere.
3) I chew my tongue. Which Yosh says makes me look like a cow chewing cud. Who wants to be married to  anything resembling a cow?

Now let's not act like the list ends here, I'm simply indulging you with a few. Can't give away all my secrets or else it would be impossible to maintain my totally-distorted-blog-image! {Insert literal LOL! cuz I literally LOLed.}

Just been thinking about marriages, how hard they are and how lucky I feel to be married to the person I'm married to. I swear, the longer I'm married the more I think, "Wow, I could only be married to Yosh. Don't think I'd make it with [anyone else]." Very grateful for young, guppy love and acting on it and jumping in head first to marriage without giving it too much (in retrospect....) thought!