Thursday, October 21, 2010

Found this picture and it expressed my fantasy world quite accurately. I mean, add some context to it. Imagine that right outside those doors is a beautiful swimming pool with comfy lounge chairs all the way around. And probably like a swim up bar or something along those lines.  And all of this is in sunny 85 degree weather. That's what I dream about. And whine about, and say i need. Just a week of it. But you know what? It's kind of depressing but perhaps I'm more of a realist than I like to admit. Because I know this fantasy world doesn't exist. If you go with kids, there is no laying out by the pool, sipping a beverage and relaxing. You go without the kids and you miss them and think how much they would love to be there. Not to mention you go home and they make you pay for having left them. So, now I'm left with no escape- not even a mental one! But at least Porter has his escape. This is him this summer in San Diego. Fell asleep on his coral themed pillows watching TV.

This picture on the other hand is real and does exist and is heavenly! I received this edible arrangement a couple months ago and every single piece of fruit on there was simply perfect. The pineapples dipped in chocolate may have received extra points, but come on- add chocolate to anything and it's going to top the rest.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

From the second I came out of my mama's tummy, I was a handful. I came out just a screaming and who knows when I stopped. Maybe when I turned 21. My dad says I was the fussiest baby of all. My mom terms it in a slightly more political way but basically is saying the same thing...I was a pill from the time I made my debut. This knowledge has done nothing but haunt me. I've heard pay back often comes when raising your own children.

So, this pregnancy has been absolutely amazing. Slight discomfort the first couple months, but operative word is slight. In fact, when I was going to the doctor for the first time at 14 weeks, I was preparing myself for any type of news. I just wasn't as confident that this was a normal pregnancy. But contrary to my worries, everything was great. Baby looked healthy, had a strong heartbeat. And the following weeks continued in the same pattern. Just a grade A pregnancy. Everyone wanted to talk about gender. Another boy? Can you possibly have 4 boys? But at the same time, can you possibly have a girl after having 3 boys? I know...very deep thoughts. I started to get a little nervous- with how well the pregnancy was going I couldn't help but wondering, "Is this a baby girl, and therefore, the calm before the storm?" Was a baby girl going to give me 9 months of rest before she hit me with 20 years of hell? This thought came in and out of my mind many times.

At 17 weeks, I went to a new doctor and the cards were stacked in my favor- I was getting an unexpected ultrasound.  I laid on the bed, a little bit giddy, a little bit nervous, and mostly excited even though I reassured myself they probably weren't going to be able to tell the sex! But that wasn't the case. Doctor was quickly able to identify. "It looks like you have a daughter." My immediate reaction caught me off guard as I got a little emotional. Did I want a baby girl more than I was willing to admit? Or did I just never think it possible? I don't know, but right away I felt like, "Of course it's a girl. 3 boys and a girl. That's our family." It wasn't a reaction of surprise. Immediately, it just fit. That being said, I quickly questioned the doctor, "Whoa whoa whoa, now are you just saying that because you don't see a penis or is it for surely a girl?" Bless his heart, it was our first meeting and he didn't know that this baby was preceded by 3 older brothers and mistaken information could be traumatizing to some. But he did more extensive investigating, pointed our certain parts to me, and reassured the both of us that it was a baby girl. And, with that, evaporated the thought of this little thing torturing me for the next 20 years. Maybe I'm wrong, but at least now I'm not scared!

So now all we have to do is wait. The boys are excited for a little sister. I feel like Deeter even knows something is in the works as he often times demands on lifting up my shirt and touching or laying on my belly. And I'm trying to take in more of the attitude of just being grateful and not questioning why good things happen to me (ie. an easy pregnancy!) And I can rest easy knowing my mom never wished any kind of revenge on me for being a hard kid!