"How is life with 4?" you may ask. Well, I have the perfect incident to illustrate life with four, and ironically it only involves three. The other day I went to pick Porter up from preschool and make good on my promise of taking him to this little play area on the grounds. So, with Deeter on one hip and the baby carrier swinging from my elbow, I made my way to his classroom. I was a few minutes early, which allowed Deetz to wander the room. The baby carrier was on the table and as the moms filed in to pick up their kids, a lot of ooooohing and aaahing took place as baby girl does not make frequent appearances in the classroom. In the midst of this, Porter escapes and makes him way to the playground (which is essentially the next room over, although outside) only to be escorted back by the preschool director. I picked up the baby carrier and quickly went outside to retrieve him. Out there I started looking for Deeter, maybe assuming he had followed his brother. In the chaos of so many people filling the room at once, I got a little panicked thinking I let Deeter out of my sight. The director asked if everything was ok, and I told her I might be missing one more. Although I appear to be very laid-back, believe it or not I always know where my kids are and am keeping an eye on them or am very comfortable that they are in a place I trust. Well Deeter wasn't at the play area and the parking lot is too close for comfort and momentary frantic set it as I knew Deeter had absolutely no sense of boundaries in this setting! Maybe it was only a minute that passed- but a long, sickening minute- until I found him....in my arms. Seriously? I was carrying him the whole time? The answer is yes. I have definitely entered the fog stage of having a newborn and trying to keep up with the others! This is by far the best case scenario for me being "careless"! So that is how it is taking care of three kids...you can only imagine how things are going taking care of four!

I'm never pregnant alone. And can you believe when I was pregnant with Deeter I was pregnant with two of my close friends? Here are all 3 of our babies born within 6 weeks of each other. Deeter is the youngest....and the hugest. But I guess you wouldn't want it any other way. He can be their protector.

I was looking at these pictures from Dallin's 5th birthday party last May taken by the ever so generous Allie Steele. Literally the last day that we were a family of 5...I won't go into details of the next night! But I will say that Anneli came to the party saying she had a dream I was pregnant. And she was wrong. I think maybe I will blame fate on her. And then that would mean owing her a big thank you.

Because now we have this beautiful girl. I wish there were stronger words to express how I feel, or that I had the vocabulary to better articulate, but I'll leave it at I love her. The chaos of a newborn is all lost in the innocence and love and infatuation and sweetness of a little baby. The ability to have this little body curl up on your chest and hold on to your finger for dear life invites a feeling of peace that can't come in any other way. Whether it's at 2:00 in the afternoon or 2:00 in the morning, it is equally welcomed. And I'm not just saying that. Maybe with child #4 I've learned to relax and take the moments when they come.

I remember saying this about Porter- that I never understood why people said I looked mad growing up. Once I saw the scowl on Porter's face, I understood. Looking at Kaia's little facial expression, I'm once again reminded! I'll have to teach them at a young age that people are going to think they are mad all the time if they don't consciously watch their expressions!

Time to shop. That's what I was feeling like yesterday. I'm not pregnant and I don't look pregnant anymore. So the itch set in to have something new and feel somewhat fresh after 9 months of being pregnant and a few after-birth weeks of just looking pregnant. I set off in search for a couple new shirts- loose-fitting shirts. After selecting some to try on, I made my way to the fitting room. Looking in the mirror, I was instantly brought back to a conversation I had with a mom who gave birth a week after me. She said she went shopping because she didn't automatically shrink back to size as she did with her other two. (And by the way, count your lucky stars...who shrinks back to their previous size after a couple weeks anyway?) During this shopping trip, she was shocked...."When did Gap start using fat mirrors?" she asked! I was dying, I thought that was hilarious but thought of it as nothing more than something comical until my own shopping trip. "Seriously?" I thought as I looked at every outfit I tried on. No doubt the fat mirrors have taken over every store! Losing 20 pounds is a daunting task, but apparently masking 20 pounds is going to be equally daunting. Needless to say, I bought a couple necklaces. For myself that is, but that wasn't quite all...baby girl made out like a bandit. I guess this shopping trip made up for holding out for months while I was pregnant! I saw cute little outfits that I chose to no longer resist. Here is Kaia girl at 6 weeks and just precious as ever.

This pic cracks me up. It appears that the eye-rolling has already begun!